Let's Make a Deal

Ya know what's not fair?  The new guy gets carried around EVERYWHERE in MY carrier.  That's right, don't think I don't remember the good ol' days of getting to lay in my recliner everywhere I went. I also remember going to the store to buy that particular seat after I was born, so don't tell me it's his now.  It's mine.  MINE MINE MINE.
However, for a small fee I will allow him to rent it.  Let's see....$5.00 a day at seven days a week at 4 weeks a month is 140 bucks a month.  And though it's hardly worth mentioning, a very reasonable interest rate of 20% compounded monthly.  I wonder how "fine" I can make that fine print.  Let's run a test....can you still read this?  Not without your glasses?  Perfect!  JD's eyes aren't even fully developed yet so it will still be a blur to him too!  *Ahem* I mean....I'll be sure to read it to him since he might not be able to see it properly.....

"Love is a Many Splendored Thing"

 Don't say it, I know.  I put on an amazing spread.  Just a little something I cooked up for the 'rents since they were too busy to plan anything for themselves.  (Although Mama pitched in on the canvas card we made for Dada).  They were so touched.  Wish I could have captured that look of pure joy and gratitude on their faces....priceless.  But it was nothing really, just a little tomato basil bisque, followed by some roasted broccoli and homemade shrimp alfredo, finished with some sparkling juice and a heart-shaped cookie cake.  Oh yeah and candles and hearts I cut out as decoration and flowers.  And of course after I explained Valentine's Day to lil' bro he wanted to get something for Mommy too, so we bought her Ghirardelli chocolates and a chocolate Dove heart.  (Ghirardelli was from me obviously....JD's just a beginner at these things, so his tastes aren't as refined as mine yet.)  She flipped.  Melted into a big puddle of Mommy.  I just love Valentine's Day.  Oh love......

Train Day!

 I know you have all been dying to hear about Train Day, the most wonderful day of the year.  Train rides, model trains and villages, toy trains, mini-trains, trains for sale, indoor trains you can play conductor in.  It's insane.  And awesome.  Nay, epically insanely awesome.  I never realized how big trains were, as this was my first time to see real ones up close.  They're MASSIVE!  We got to ride on a huge one outside, and then there was another train that could really run on the track that was miniature and made for kids, but they don't run it anymore.  I'm guessing the no seatbelts thing was a safety issue for the immature crowd.  Now, if they would just weed out the irresponsible ones from the get-go that wouldn't be a problem!
There was an interesting mix of people at train day - kids, and old guys.  I think there is something about trains that is just classically manly.  A man can like trains his whole life, and it's always an acceptable hobby, one of the few hobbies you can do from age 0-100!  Of course, none of the other train day goers were quite as fanatic as I.  I don't think it's possible....

Monkeyshines

                                             A Bittersweet Ode to "Barrel of Monkeys"
   
                                             Oh barrel of monkeys, you're one of a kind.
                                           Once lonely on your shelf, now you're all mine!
                                           I'll twist you and throw you and dump you all out,
                                            And all this I'll do with a loud, forceful shout.
                                              Why should I loop you from tail to arm?
                                                To do things correctly is void of all charm.
                                            Instead I shall make up my own rules of play,
                                            The days of such freedoms will soon pass away.

                                             *Pathetic drooping of head in exhaustion*

Playdough Potentate

Da, Da-da-da-dat-dat-daaaaaaaaa!  This is the infamous peach-mango scented gluten-free playdough.  Not only is it deliciously invigorating to play with, but it won't hurt my rather sensitive stomach should I chose to sample it.  I feel like that lady in one of Mommy's favorite shows, Road to Avonlea - "Oh no darling, I can't abide tea, I have a very delicate stomach.  Roasted chicken?  No, no, no my digestive system really couldn't handle that.  I could however partake of some of those marvelous looking imported chocolates....."  although in my case aforementioned imported chocolates would have to be REAL chocolate (which contains no dairy; and let's be honest, milk ruins the flavor of chocolate anyway!)  But back to playdoughing....it is quite simple to make and the scent and texture are both still perfect.  Perhaps I'll get Mommy to take me to show local shows where I can sell it....that ridiculous etrade baby has been mocking my portfolio, which has indeed been looking rather shabby as of late, since I've been too busy training JD to monitor my investments properly.  *sigh*  The stresses of a mini-mogul....

Lost in Translation

Mama has lost her voice.  I asked her if she'd looked in the car; it's possible it got locked in there one of those times she was rockin' out to Skillet.  She rolled her eyes at me.  Apparently she lost her sense of humor too.
Anyway, it was great fun to translate her sign language today.  "What's that Mom?  You want me to keep screaming at the top of my lungs while throwing blocks all over the room?  Well if you insist.....why are you grabbing my arm like that?  OHHHHH, I should use more of that muscle right there when I throw?  Thanks mom!"
Yes...it was a good day.

Let The Training Begin

On MLS's advice, I've been doing some reading on the elderly species known as "parents".  Apparently, they take about 2 years to break in, so these first couple years are the toughest.  But according to my readings, "The parental psyche is geared to dominate and control their offspring.  It may take years of hard work and compassionate training to mold them into the easily controllable push-overs they should be."  This doesn't sound very kind to me....after all Mama worked very hard to bring me into this world, and Dada is so kind and "JD!  STOP THAT TALK AT ONCE!  REMEMBER THE MISSION!"  Sorry MLS. :(  I'll get more wise and devious like you, I promise!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

   Happy Birthday to me!!!  It's the big 0-2.  I can't believe I've been bringing laughter, amazement, and wonder to the world for two whole years.  Time flies when you're being brilliant.  I had a BIG train party.  Everyone was there.  Relatives, friends, and multiple paparazzi that had to be beaten back with balloons.  Dada decorated the awesome train cake pictured above.  Pretty sweet right?  ;)
    Anywayz, I also received an assortment of train-related items, as well as some artistic and academic items to further enhance my genius.  Can't wait to celebrate the big 0-1 with JD in 10 more months.  Suppose I should start booking the party planner now; they're all so busy at that time of year.
    Thanks to everyone who came or sent gifts (especially thanks to that category :)  Now off to celebrate again with Mama and Dada since today is my official birthday.  I could get used to this double-birthday party thing....