Toy Talk

You know how people are always asking "Why buy my kid toys when he'd rather play with a cardboard box/pots and pans/tupperware/fill-in-the-blank?"  I don't know why!  This seems to me to be an age-old question that Adam probably asked Eve when little Abel shunned the wooden dinosaur his daddy carved for him in favor of a stick.  Take these stacking rings....I love these rings...I love to bite them, lick them, throw them, shake them, and scoot them....everything except stack them.  Now take the spatula.  I love to bite it, wave it, bang it on
my excersaucer, and talk to it (I don't throw it

though because it makes me cry...I just love this spatula...).  The stacking rings and the spatula accomplish the same thing for me, which is to serve as a tool by which to entertain mommy and daddy (I may find them a bit amusing as well...).  So why buy me toys?  Because you enjoy it.  Because you feel accomplished when you pick out the latest educational toy proven to raise my IQ.  Because they are colorful, shiny, loud, fun, and are acceptable items to have strewn around your house when people come over.  (I mean imagine visiting a friend and seeing tupperware all over the house....weirdo....).  Because you want me to know the difference between a toy and a tool....nobody wants their kid to be the one that sits on the pavement playing with his slide-rule while all the other kids play on the playground.  Just sayin'.                                                            

Happy Half-Birthday to Me!!!

It's my half birthday! I am 6 months old today!!!! And you know how I threatened to eat my hat if mommy didn't give me a party? Well...

But that's ok, because I did get my rice cereal birthday cake!  I must say, the cereal part wasn't that interesting, but that spoon...I just love that spoon.  It's so chewy and nice to gum on.  Though as first feedings go, I believe I did spectacular.  Mommy and daddy were taking FOREVER to feed me though, so in the end I just had to take over.  World of independence, here I come!!!

Foray into Food

Tomorrow is the day!  The day we've all been waiting for!  Finally I shall put these one and a half teeth to good use!  Solid food here I come.  Tomorrow is my 6 month birthday, and to celebrate, I shall be having everyone's favorite birthday treat, rice cereal birthday cake - hold the cake.  So mommy hands me this metal thing with a gummy oval on the end and says I need to practice holding it.  She claims it's a spoon, but I have seen her and daddy eat with spoons, and this is NOT a spoon.  This is indeed a metal implement, but it's tiny and the end is purple.  PURPLE.  There is no way I can let the guys at church see me eating with a purple spoon, if it even is a spoon, which I'm still not sure of.  And I better get a half birthday party....I've threatened that if mommy doesn't throw me a party, I'll eat my hat.  That's what's up yo.

Skills

     You may be wondering about the above picture...well see what ha' happen wuz...I wanted to go to the park.  And daddy thought I needed to practice crawling some more.  So he refused to go to the park, and I refused to crawl...we had reached an impass.  So the plan was to pin him and sit on his jugular until he did what I wanted.  Unfortunately he passed out before he could agree.  Oops...but he came to quickly don't worry.  And we hugged and I apologized, like the wonderful guy I am.  Speaking of crawling, I can go in a circle!  It's rather impressive...and dizzying.  Give me a few more days to let mom and dad adjust to my new talent, and then I'll crawl for real.  I don't want to overwhelm them.  I mean you know how parents are, especially moms.  They get all nostalgic and weepy about how little you used to be and how fast you're growing up.  Moms....

How to Prevent a Diaper Changing

     Lately I've been getting a little tired of all these diaper changes.  When I want my diaper changed, I'll let some one know, until then, I want to be left alone!  So for all of you who share my sentiments, here are some sure-fire ways to prevent, postpone, or make your diaper change extremely difficult.

1. Look extremely adorable.  They'll be so busy looking at your adorable face, they may forget what they were doing.  (Depending on how bad you smell...)
2. Fling your arms and legs rapidly while laughing hysterically.  Once again, this is a mild, cute technique that serves only to distract for a little while.
3. Arch your back, and fling your bottom to the side.  It makes it extremely difficult for them to wipe those horrible cold things on you.  This more aggressive technique will also serve either to irritate, or provoke sympathy in your parental unit.  Either way, it also makes the process much more time consuming.  If you would prefer to provoke smpathy rather than irritate, don't look angry and try to eek out a tear or two.  Make sure to look them in the eye as well....this makes it even more pitiful.

Try all three of these next time some one tries to change your diaper without cause.  Figure out which works best for you.  If you do them properly, it should result in less frequent changes.

Mexican't Food

   Aunt Sarah has been visiting this weekend, and tonight I decided to take her out to dinner.  So I take her to this awesome mexican restaurant, but on the way there I fell asleep, and neither mommy nor daddy had the decency to wake me up for the meal!  I mean seriously?!  This was MY IDEA!  To top it off, when I finally did wake up, they were all finishing up their meals and didn't even bother to order me anything!  So I'm livid at this point.  First of all, I'm embarassed about inviting Aunt Sarah out and then falling asleep.  Second of all, I awoke to find myself covered by a lavender fleece blanket.  Lavender?!  Really mom?  Third of all, no one even had the courtesy to get me some food....not even to-go!  So I start screaming as part of my plan to escape the car seat, and of course it worked.  Mommy put me in her lap where I immediately attempted to wreak havoc on their meals.  I almost succeeded in getting a handful of daddy's enchilada sauce and knocking over mommy's tea, but tonight they were ready;  I was thwarted at every turn.  Just wait til I get another three inches or so....I'll be unstoppable!  Muah-ha-ha-ha!

Baby-lympics

  Have you been keeping up with the Olympics?  Me neither.  Instead I watched the MLS All-Stars vs. Chelsea.  I felt it was fitting to route for MLS, for obvious reasons.  Though their jerseys were all wrong...they didn't even have my picture on them!  Ridiculous.  So I was thinking, why are there no sport leagues for vertically challenged juveniles such as myself?  I think we could definately bring the money in ticket-wise...I mean watching grown men sweat is just gross; now watching babies have crawling races and sitting-up competitions, while we flash our killer smiles and laugh our adorable laughs...that's entertainment.  Instead of buying popcorn and hot dogs at concessions, you can get pureed sweet potatoes and cheerios.  Mmmm...that's good eatin'.

Cannibals!

    Look at this face.  When you look at this face, do you think, "Mmm, dessert!".  No.  No you don't.  You may think "How irresistibly handsome," or, "What a cutie!", or "Look at those hypnotizing baby blues!"  So why is it then that people are continuously staring at me and being like, "I'm gonna eat you up!" and "Oh I could eat that face for dessert!" or my favorite, "Oh he's like a little marshmallow, Nom, nom, nom!"  I mean I'm a little concerned here with all these cannibals running around!  It's like it's not safe to go outside.  People be crazy out there!  Perhaps it's best to stay in the house until I turn three. According to one of daddy's teachers, age 3 is when children lose that awesome cuteness factor.  Although, I fear I may not be so fortunate as to have that happen to me. :)