R&R Here I Come

This was me this time last year...I can't believe how much more handsome I've become.  It's truly remarkable.  Well folks, I'm about to head out on VACATION!!!!  I'm headed for a beautiful sandy shore and my very own beach house (I'm generously sharing it with Nanna and Poppy...I know, I know....greatest grandson ever).  I can't wait to hit the beach.  Just me, the sun, the sand, and a good book.  As I recently finished War and Peace, I think I'd like something a little lighter, better for beach reading, like The Brothers Karamozov or maybe Hamlet.  So many books, so little time.  It's an injustice, a tragedy, a true conondrum.  *sigh* 

MLS, Daisy, and the Men From Mars

   One day MLS and Daisy were staring out the window in a bored sort of way, when all of a sudden, a blinding light burst through the pane, bathing them in it's other-worldly glow

"MLS!" Daisy barked excitedly, "What do you suppose that is?"

"It's the sun coming out," MLS sarcastically replied, "What do you think it is you nimrod?!  It's a spaceship of course!  Come to take all our parents back to their homeland!"

"Ohhhhh..." was all Daisy could say in reply.  She didn't know what "spaceship" meant, but she didn't want to admit it for fear of appearing unintelligent.

"Come on quick!" MLS yelled.  "We've got to warn Mommy and Daddy to go hide!  I will not let them be taken away from us!"

Just as MLS and Daisy started to turn away, the blinding light vanished. MLS looked at Daisy in confusion.

"Do you think I scared them away?  Do you think they saw me and just knew they had no chance of taking Mommy and Daddy away from me?  That's it!  That must be it!  They've heard of my physical prowess even in the outer reaches of space, but until they saw me, they had no idea how chiseled and built I really am.  They knew they were no match for me!"

"Yeah MLS..." barked Daisy unconvincingly, "That's it....."

"Yeah, but you know what?  I don't think we've seen the last of them.  They are probably going home to muster an army.  But when they return," MLS said threateningly, "I'll be waiting right here!"

 

To be Continued in the Further Adventures of Daisy and MLS

Fly Kicks

  Check out the kicks my buddy brought me from China!  Aren't they sweet!?  Nobody will have shoes this awesome.  Just wait until I walk into MOPS wearing these.  The ladies will be floored once again by my killer sense of style, having no idea that I didn't even pick them out myself!  Perhaps I'll wear them to the indoor Easter Egg Hunt.  While all the others are going for my shoes thinking they're bright shiny Easter eggs, I'll be going after the real eggs. Muah-ha-ha-ha!  No candy for you!  All for me!!!  Ahem, I mean, "Awwww, you guys didn't find anything?  What a shame...." :)

The Truck Says "Waaaaaarrrhh"...Period

    For some reason, Mommy is unable to understand the concept of "sameness".  For example, trucks.  All trucks have four wheels, an engine, a steering wheel, seats, etc.  Therefore all trucks say "Waaaaaaarrrrhhhh, Waaaaaaarhhhhh" like the big red ones with the ladders on the side.  She seems to think dump trucks make a different noise, and sportscars make another different noise.  No Mom.  Wrong yet again.  It's just that some trucks don't say it as often as the big red ones, but that's the noise they make all the same.  It just makes sense.  Take cows for example. Some are fat, skinny, white, brown, spotted, but they all "moo".  Sheep - "Baa".  Black sheep, white sheep, dirty sheep, clean sheep, they all say "baa"!  Mommies - "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah".  Some are tall, short, tan, pale, it doesn't matter.  They all make the same noise.  Ergo, all trucks say "Waaaaaarrrrrhhhhh".  End of discussion, point set match, the fat lady has sang.  Done.   

Storytime

 Once a week Mommy takes me to the library for something referred to as "Storytime".  It's a very strange place where lots and lots of other mommies take their babies and do strange things.  The mommies sit in a semi-circle holding their kids, and then the begin clapping their hands, stomping their feet, waving "hello" and "brushing their teeth."  One lady stand in the front and directs, so from what I can gather, she is the leader of this cult-like gathering.  All the moms does whatever she tells them too.  My peers and I usually just sit around and watch them....we aren't sure how to break them from her mysterious hold.  At one point they even think they're little red wagons, and commence bouncing us on their knees, and then pretending we fall out of the wagon!  What kind of twisted place is this "Storytime"!?  At least I'm not alone in this.

Tuesday's Post....Ooops

For whatever reason, this didn't post like I thought it did yesterday!  So terribly sorry!    Like my ride?  I heard the ladies dig guys with red cars, so I figure a red tricycle is basically the same thing.  Not quite a speed demon on it yet; Mommy didn't buy me a helmet yet, and we all know how valuable my amazing brain is, so I have to drive slowly and cautiously....for now....Even so, I must say, I can still pose a threat to any man, beast, or fowl that should get in my path!  (Not that I've come across man or fowl yet, but woman and dog were both terrified).  Look out Talledega here I come!

Remote Interference

    This is a remote.  It has two magical cylinders inside that give it power.  Only problem is, Mommy never lets me get the cylinders out before she snatches it from my grasp.  Mega-thwartage.  I think Mommies take classes on how to thwart their sons.  Or maybe that was in that stack of booklets and paperwork they sent me home from the hospital with - "Child-Rearing Skills You Must Know - Chapter 2: The Art of the Thwart"  That's fine though.  I got books too. "Pitiful Expressions to Melt Any Heart, Volume 3"  I've almost mastered the techniques...I've reached Level 4.  My book guarantees that by the time I'm done, I will be able to control any adult with just a look.  Muah-ha-ha-ha!  Cookies for breakfast? "Of course MLS!"  No naps today?  "Never again my perfect son!"  It shall be glorious...

If the Shirt Fits...

The shirt says it all...."Prince" and "charming" (just ignore the possessive form of "mommy"...)  All you need to know about me is stated on my chest.  While I am normally against such flagrant displays of character, since this one was particularly fitting, I agreed to let Mommy get it.  I believe my demeanor reveals my nature, thus I have no need to flaunt it on my chest.  But as I said, I made an exception this one time.  I think that those who feel the need to wear clothing with silly adjectives about themselves really need to spend some time in self-evaluation.  The other day at the mall I saw a girl wearing shorts that said, "Pink" across the back.  Really madam?  We can all see by the color of your skin that it is pink (though undoubtedly NOT the hot pink of those ridiculous shorts you're wearing).  There is no need to advertise what color your bottom is in particular.  Honestly I will never understand the adult species....