Ugh

    I apologize for my absence, I've been a bit tied up....

What with finishing Mommy's research paper for her (the slacker!) and planning my birthday party, I'm swamped.  But don't worry, after the big day is over you'll be overwhelmed with adorable pictures and mature wit you won't know what to do.  I mean I'm turning one....that's really old. You know what they say, with age comes wisdom.

Time is a Fickle Friend

  I'm afraid I haven't time to give you any amazing revelations or engage in any witty banter today.  I am helping mommy with a research paper on ethnomusicology and ethnodoxology.  Really, I have to do everything around here.  Hopefully tomorrow she will give me some time to myself to engage in my own creative pursuits. *sigh*.

Nostalgia

 With my impending birthday on Saturday, I thought I'd have a competition to see who really knows all the many faces of me.  See if you know how old I was in each of these pictures.  If you will be visiting me on Saturday, bring your guesses with you (# of months AND days).  Whoever gets them all right (or is closest), will win a special surprise from yours truly!  (Don't worry, it won't be the smelly kind!  Maybe....)

Golden Deliciousness

These are pieces of something called an organic, free-range, gluten-free, not chemically seperated chicken nugget, or nugget for short.  I don't really care what's it's called, all I know is that it is the greatest food in the history of food ever.  EVER.  But I don't believe it's actually chicken, because I know chicken.  I've had chicken forced on me before and this amazing golden goodness tastes NOTHING like chicken.  I think that's a ploy by the food industry (or just mommy) to trick children into eating chicken by feeding them something called "chicken" that tastes amazing, so that when you are offered real chicken, your brain will say, "Oh yeah, chicken, I love chicken!"  And even while you chew the abominable, offensive chicken, you'll tell yourself, "I know this taste terrible, but it's chicken...and don't I love chicken?"  It's all a mind game people....the entire chicken industry.....one big deceptive mind game.  Do not be fooled.

"And I Say, Hey!"

  To unveil my latest and greatest talent, I can sing the Arthur theme song!  Mommy watches it so much I have it memorized now ("Don't you mean, YOU watch Arthur so much MLS?  Surely you don't expect these people to believe a grown 25 year old woman would still watch Arthur even though they have 14 irresistable seasons of it on Netflix?  Psh...Psh..ridiculous.")  Aaaanywaaaay....as I was saying, Mommy watches it so much I know all the words.  Granted, you wouldn't be able to understand them, because I sing them in a different language, but the "Hey!" parts are very recognizable. 
    Alas, Daisy was not impressed with my memorization and vocal skills.  One day I shall do something to make Daisy proud of me.  One day...

Again....Really? REALLY?

  Daddy got sick...and he made me sick.  AGAIN.  Ya know, before my first birthday began rushing up like an angry wave, I never got sick.  Once, maybe twice.  I mean geez, you hit 11 months and BAM!  Sick, sick, sick.  You could contribute it to this sudden arctic weather, but I think I am allergic to growing up.  So I shall stop.  Right here and now.  Cease and desist.  No more.  You can't make me.  "Cause growing up is awfuller, than all the awful things that ever were, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow uuuuuup!  No sir!"  Bonus points to whoever knows which stage production that line hails from.  Bonus bonus points if you know who the star was.  And bonus bonus bonus points if you are cool enough to have a video cassette of it at your house.

Stood Up

  My date stood me up this morning....said she has a sinus infection.  I guess I believe her.  But even so, would you stand up this guy?

No!  No you wouldn't!  Any girl in her right mind would push through the pain and stuffiness to have a chance to spend time with this guy!  And the heartache?  I won't even go into how broken my fragile little heart is.  I've never been stood up before.  I mean that sort of thing happens to other guys, not me!  Am I losing my charm?  Or is my confidence just too overwhelming?  (Mommy calls it arrogance...potato, pota'to)

  Ok, you're right....I'm sure she really is sick, in which case it is best that she get some rest.  Being around this handsome face is too much for any girl's heart, let alone one who's already sick.  Feel better soon my friend.

Arctic Hang-out

  Ta-da!  My Igloo!  Technically it's more of a bunker since the roof fell in, but it's still awesome!  And functional.  It shields from northern, southern, and eastern winds, and incoming snowballs.  No I will not reveal my secrets of how I constructed this marvel, so don't ask!  Suffice it to say it took brains, brawn (no, not the pig's head stuffed into a jar kind, you sicko!  What's wrong with you?!), and below freezing temperatures.
   Sadly, today my Igloo finally did melt down to half it's height. *sigh*  Now it only protects my legs, leaving my poor, beautiful face to be chapped and burned by the biting wind.  Hopefully Friday's predicted snowfall will indeed arrive on schedule, so I can resurrect my castle of ice.

Snow Day!

  As Pooh would say, "It's a rather blustery day." Snow snow everywhere!  But not a flake to eat....because Mommy said no to snow cream.  :(   This stuff is very annoying otherwise.  It's cold and wet and burns when you fall face first into it. Although riding on my sled was quite fun. Out of the sled, not so much.  I am working on an Igloo to keep me warm, but it is not finished yet, so you'll have to wait for the finished product.  I think I'll do a two-story.  Mommy said that's impossible, but I've got some Eskimos on speed dial, so we'll just see about that.

 The biggest positive about this snow is how stunning it is.  Perfectly white and breathtakingly beautiful.  You might say I have a lot in common with snow. :)

Dance Fever

 That's right, I've got skills. There's this box in my room that music comes out of....it's like a tv except it doesn't have an moving pictures.  Just sound.  It's very odd, yet strangely hypnotic.
  Sorry it's sideways....never hire some one as camera-man (or rather woman) just because they're family.  Go out and find a professional.  Sheesh.

Back Up Mama I Can Do it Myself!

   Your eyes are not deceiving you, I am indeed feeding myself with a spoon.  Just another one of my many talents...though I must say I do prefer strawberry toast with my hands than oatmeal with the spoon.  Spoons take much too long.  I think we should all eat like they did in Medieval times....everything by hand!  A fist full of oatmeal? Sure!  A handful of mashed potatoes?  Why not?  Drink your soup out of a sippy cup?  Ok maybe that doesn't really apply because I'm pretty sure they didn't have sippy cups but you get the idea.....

Through the Window

       Through the Window
A Contemplative Poem in One Part

I look through the window as leaves swirl 'round
And wonder what happened to make them fall down.
I hear the wind howling but don't see a thing,
And still the leaves fly like I do when I swing.
I look through the window and think in my head,
"Too many questions....I'm going to bed!"
 Please do not judge me too harshly for this,
It just seems that sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Basket Bashing

    Fact: Some baskets are not as big on the inside as they appear on the outside.

    Example: If you crawl into your small basket of toys to make sure you got them all out, neither you, nor whatever toys remained will be able to get out.

    Lesson Learned: Never crawl into a place you cannot crawl out of.  Yes, I did intend that statement to represent a more abstract thought than just the dangers of climbing into small baskets. 

    Think about it, think about it.......there ya' go!  

    Words to live by from MLS.  (I'm so wise they shoulda' named me Solomon!)

And the Pots and the Pans and the Silver Spoon...

   I have found something MUCH better than tupperware....big, shiny, LOUD, metallic pots and pans!!  They were in the cabinets this whole time!  And to think of all that time spent wasted in the tupperware drawer.  Oh well, such is life.  All I can do is enjoy them now that I've found them.  They are WAY cooler....they make really obnoxious clanking sounds when you drag them out, and if you hit them against each other, it's even better!  PLUS if you use a spoon on them, it's just like a drum.  It's discouraging though - I thought Mommy would be so happy that I'm over my obsession with tupperware, but instead she pulled me away from the cabinets and put me back by the drawer instead.   I wish she'd make up her mind.  You can't have your  cake and eat it too mom!  Ya know, that's a very dumb saying.  Of course you can have your cake and eat it too!  Just make two cakes, one to eat, and one to "have".  And while you're consuming the second cake, make a third cake, and then a fourth and so forth and so on.  Duh!

Happy Birthday Poppy!

  Happy Birthday to the man I'm named after!  In tribute to my Amazing Poppy, here is a varied assortment of pictures, because pictures of me are the greatest gift in the world!

THA Treatment

  Day one of Tupperware Hoarders Anonymous (THA) went well.  Mommy says with a few more months of work, I should fully recover and be able to live a normal, productive life.  As one of our THA activities, she has encouraged me to go through my  toys and choose one that I feel best represents my life right now.  I have chosen the top.  It is an excellent analogy for my life....when it gets wound up, it can spin out of control, and just when it does get where it wants to go, it falls over. *sigh*  Mommy said if I can find similarities between myself and my real toys, I will find it easier to let go of the tupperware.  We'll see.  Until then, she is guarding the drawer it resides in like a hawk.  That's fine.....she has to sleep sometime.

The Thief

 Ok, she caught me.  I admit it.  I am not one to run from my wrong-doings.  It was I.  I opened the cabinet, I threw everything onto the floor in search of my favorite piece of tupperware, and I gleefully ran away with it to the living room (where I was sure I wouldn't be found...oops).  Ok so I thought about blaming Daisy, but I told the truth in the end (after realizing the Daisy theory isn't believable as she has no opposable thumbs).  I can't help it....I'm a tupperware junkie!  I need to play with tupperware!  I need to hear the sound it make when I slam it onto the floor!  I need to feel it's pliable texture underneath my walker as I run over it!
   I know, get help.  Point taken.

Adventures with Polar Bears

     I have discovered that many users are having issues uploading pictures, and the powers that be say they're trying to fix the problem, yet they also suggest switching from Internet Explorer to Google Chrome browser and see if that helps....and lo and behold it did!  Hmmmm, that's not fishy at all.....
   So anyway, now I can finally tell you about a lovely family I met on my trip.  They work at a factory in Tennessee.  Mr. Polar drives the train, and Mrs. Polar and Baby Polar cook food for all the visitors.  But a word of advice - Never get on a train being driven by a polar bear who's had a little too much egg nog.  Just sayin'.
   They were however very gracious hosts, and they even provided seating for larger guests.  I mean MUCH larger guests.  I'm talking Andre the Giant sized guests.  Mommy, and Daddy, and Me all fit in this chair and STILL had room for more people.  I mean I know people tend to overeat during the holidays but nobody overeats that much!  I suppose that chair is actually for some distant cousin of theirs, like a Black Bear or a Grizzly.  Those suckers are HUGE!

Wee Mania

   So while we were visiting Nanna and Poppy for Christmas, Mommy and Daddy received this thing they call a "Wee" (although the box read "Wii"...Must be some foreign spelling of the term...)  I'm not sure, but it seems to be some kind of brainwashing device that makes you do very silly things, such as swinging your arm out repeatedly, and then stomping up and down when one of them swings their arm better than the other.  They claim they are bowling, but I have been bowling with them many times, and that is NOT bowling.  They aren't even holding a ball!  I'm very worried about them.  The fever has recently grown worse.  They purchased this flat board thing yesterday that they stand on, shifting their bodies sideways and backwards and even doing kung fu moves while standing on the thing.  I just don't get it.  I really think they've lost it.  And then when I tried to sit on it to figure out what was going on, they moved me and said I messed up their ski jump!  HELLO!  It's not even snowing!  Cuckoo I tell you!  Perhaps their brains have begun to atrophy due to those two weeks off of school.  I would love to post a picture of me investigating this mysterious machine, but once again blogger refuses to let me upload images....this is getting old.  Don't they know my fans are missing out on days and days of cuteness?!  I am deeply sorry.

Sore Throat Blues

  Home again after another eventful vacation.  Why is it that along with all my new toys I must also bring back a sore throat?  Every time I leave this house for over 48 hours, I come back sick.  So I have reached a conclusion.  The world is a dirty, filthy, germy place, filled with dirty, filthy, germy people, and I must stray no further than than boundaries of my own state, or I will continue contracting these foreign-state germs.  So for now, my singing career is on hold until my throat clears up.  Guess I can scratch yodeling off the list too....
   I also wanted to continue my Christmas photo extravaganza today, but Blogger does not seem to want me to upload any pictures.  It's just as well...by Monday these pictures will have reached the "Awww remember that moment.  What a great Christmas!" stage instead of the "I'm so glad the Holidays are finally over" stage that some of you may still be in.  But to paraphrase Mary Poppins, "It's a jolly holiday with MLS."

Farewell 2012

  Well folks it's official....the Holidays are over and a new year is here.  This time last year, Mommy was anxiously awaiting my arrival.  I can only imagine what she must have thought about...."Will I be able to live up to MLS's standards of what a Mom should be?  How will I cope with people ignoring me in favor of my charming son?  Which dress shall I wear to his birth, the black cocktail or the ball gown?"  I must say, I felt the hospital gown was too casual, but I don't hold it against you Mommy!
   I have made my New Year's resolution.  Time to lose this Christmas belly.  There was just something about Christmas that made me eat way more than usual.  I feel bloated, none of my clothes fit right, and I think my leg dimples are getting dimples.  *sigh*  You would think a diet that consists solely of fruit, vegetables, and rice cereal would keep you slim.  Deception.....thy name is baby food.  Gotta' hurry and get the ounces off before my birthday in a month so there'll be room for cake!  I think it was rather inconsiderate of Mommy to have me so soon after Christmas.  I mean geez give people a little time to breathe before throwing another National Holiday at them!