A Few Thoughts on Poop

Can I be frank? Sometimes I wish I could already walk. As nice as it is to be carried around all the time, walking would mean I could go to the bathroom in the toilet and get some privacy. Instead I must resort to plotting with the dog. Mommy makes this very difficult, because every time Daisy gets near my face, she freaks out and drives her away! See, I tell Daisy to do something really mischievous in a room other than the one I’m in, so that mommy will have to go chase her down, and I can poop in peace while she‘s gone. I mean, grown-ups are obsessed with my poop! Every time I poop they say something like, “Whoa buddy good job!” or “That was a big one!” or my favorite “Are you working on a project?” No! I am just trying to poop. Everybody poops! Grown-ups poop, children poop, even Daisy poops and she doesn’t even hide it! Can’t I have some privacy? Am I not worthy of common dignity and respect? I mean, I don’t make embarrassing comments when grown-ups make pooping noises in front of me (personally I think theirs are smellier too!). Oh well…I’m willing to be the bigger man and overlook their silly comments…for now…