InterNOT part II

Don’t say it, I know.  I’ve been away too long.  It’s really not my fault.  Verizon is the worst internet provider in the history of internet providers.  I’m done with them.  I’ve instructed Mommy to call and give them an earful; I doubt she will be as bold, fierce, and ground-shaking as I would be, but I am not allowed to use Mommy’s phone myself anymore, because I texted my cousin too often. 

I have written a poem just for you, in hopes that you will forgive my absence and still love and adore me.

Wireless is worthless.  I’d rather be tied up

In miles and miles of cords if I could only post my thoughts.

To you, my loyal fans, I deeply apologize,

And hope you will not leave me for t’would be my heart’s demise.

I promise you this situation I shall rectify,

And if it isn’t handled right I’ll grab the phone and cry:

“Justice for the downtrodden, internet for all!

Give me world wide access or your mama I will call!”

First Modeling Gig!

 Well it was bound to happen eventually, got my first gig modeling - Acorn Hill Home (www.etsy.com/shop/acornhillhome)!  Upcycled apron made from a green and white striped button-down shirt.
The apron I'm styling has so far stood up to cranberry-orange bread batter, chocolate chip cookies, and mealtime chaos (because sometimes my chef doesn't listen when I tell her what I want for dinner, and food must be destroyed, flung, or spilled in retaliation).
 I'm only shocked that my first modeling job isn't face work.  Take that Daddy!  My belly is NOT too pudgy for modeling!  I'll eat however many of these chocolate chip cookies I want (confident in the knowledge that my Acorn Hill Home apron will protect my clothes from melty chocolatey goodness).  Like how I slid that in there?  Smooth right?  Maybe I'll be a model/advertising rep.

Pumpkin Patching

 Being the loving, generous, considerate sons we are, my buddy and I took our parental units to a pumpkin patch on Saturday.  We just figured, ya know, they work pretty hard during the week, so let's take them on a fun little outing.  It was precious to watch them sort through the pumpkins to find the best ones, ride on the tractors, and find their way through a corn maze.  The funniest part though was probably watching my buddy's dad converse with a cow - so adorable!  And of course we let them take pictures throughout all of this, because we know they like to look back and think, "Oh that was such a fun day, we should take the boys back again sometime since they enjoyed it so much," when in reality it's more like, "Man that maze was awesome!  I bet I could do it in less than 5 minutes if I had another chance!  I love tractors!  I want to ride up front next time! We've got to go back!"  *sigh* But what can you do but humor them and hope that on some level they recognize your generosity and good sportsmanship?

Mommy's Birthday Bash, Recap

 I never told you about Mommy's birthday!  As head chef, I delegated the responsibility of cookie cake making, chopped steak and gravy making, veggie cooker, and biscuit maker to Nanna.  I think delegated cake decorating and gift arrangement to Daddy.  Then I went to bed, as all that hard work was exhausting.  I am told that Mommy was quite touched when she opened my letter and gift.  Without my supervision, Mommy ate way too much food and cake, regretted it the next day, and listened to her new Skillet cd without me.  Really Mom?  A bigger panhead than I doesn't exist in the whole universe.  I was so hurt by this I retaliated by throwing cheerios and craisens all over her during her birthday coffee outing with my buddy and his mom today.  Oops......

Big Brother Mode Commence!

  I am getting super psyched about my mini-me coming!  I got to spend some time with a newborn on Monday evening, and she was stinkin' adorable, so I can't wait for mine. 
  You may think that the thought of having another adorable male in the house would intimidate me - NOPE.  I mean I am the first, the premiere, the one-and-only firstborn son, the prime baby in this house.  No one can change that.  So while this one may have his charms, he will undoubtedly have his flaws too, so I'm not worried.  I got to hear his heartbeat on Monday too, which was weird.  To think I emerged from the same place as he.  Gross.  And weird. And yech.  And ewwww.

Goats N' Dogs

  What. A. Long. Week.  The internet has been just "eh" since I installed the new modem for Mommy, so I was unable to blog all week.  It seems to have worked itself out now, so I shall catch you up on all the adventures of Nanna and Nana's visit.
   Tuesday I treated them to a trip to the zoo, and to visit the site of one of Nanna's favorite shows, "Salvage Dawgs" - Black Dog Salvage (where we met black dog Sally herself!).  Probably the most awesome animal at the zoo was the kanga-rabbit. I can't remember it's true name, just that it's a cross between a kangaroo and a rabbit.  And I had the goats eating from the palm of my hand...literally.
    I also took them out to dine at Logan's, where the waitress gave me a KIDDIE MENU.  Me.  A kiddie menu?!  I was appalled to be so embarrassed in front of my family.  On the bright side, it came with crayons, so I guess it's ok.
   We also celebrated Mommy's 25th birthday on Thursday!!!  I don't have room on here to post pictures of that yet; perhaps tomorrow.

Nanna and Nana: Let the Good Times Roll!

  Nanna and Nana were here this morning when I woke up!  I'm so excited!  So far I've wheedled Nanna into making me a new blanket, and Nana into giving me a drink *of water* whenever I want!  In return, I threw blocks at them both, took all the videos out of the cases, wreaked havoc while Nanna was making my new blankie, and played cars as loud as I could while Nana napped.  I can't help it; I'm excited!  Two more women to fawn over me!  But ya' know....what else is new?

InterNOT

Well folks, my internet has been down for a while now, hence my absence.  Mommy told me to chill out; it'll be two more days before the new modem arrives.  But she doesn't understand!  I have fans!  I have people who depend on me for their daily dose of advice or political expertise!  So to you, my friends, I apologize that I will not be around much for the next few days.  I have traversed to Starbucks today just so I could update you.
In the meantime, do what I do.  Have an oatmeal cream pie, and be patient.