A Ray of Sunshine

Hey everyone!  MLS is already asleep, because he refused to take a nap today, so he was very tired.  So I'm taking over!  I have a few things I'd like to say....It's ok if you don't always dress as cool as MLS.  Don't let him make you feel bad.  It's also ok if you don't always understand his literary references.  I've tried to tell him that not everyone is as well-read as he is, and oddly he just smiled and said, "Yes JD, I'm aware of the dwindling intellect of the majority of society.  I'm glad you finally recognize it."  I don't get him.  I just love everyone and everything.  I think the world is a beautiful, intelligent, exciting place, filled with only good, kind, happy things.  I hope you do too.

A Hairy Situation

Ever have one of those days when you just can't get your hair to do what you want it to?  The result of one static-filled gymnastics lesson followed by one very restless nap...It's so hard to find good hair products these days that don't cost a fortune and would prevent hair-mergencies like this from happening. *sigh*  Must invent something safe and gentle for dapper dudes such as myself that's still strong enough to hold down a patio umbrella in a hurricane....Hmmmm...Shark Tank here I come!

Story Time Blues

I took mini-me to storytime yesterday at the library and have suffered the consequences ever since.  He asks so many questions!  The kid knows nothing!  For example, our fearless storytime leader read a book about a little boy who went walking.  On his walk, he saw lots of farm animals - cow, horse, pig, duck, etc.  As soon as we get home...."MLS, what's a cow?  MLS, why was that little boy walking all alone with all those huge animals?  Where was his Mommy?  Why didn't she stop him when he went to stand in front of that horse?  Should we call the police and report her for neglect?  Do you have that phone number or should I look it up?"  GEEZ!  Can't take this kid anywhere!  I must remind myself he is but a mere 12 weeks old, not even a full 3 months yet.  True, by that point I wouldn't have been asking such silly questions (if still rather insightful...must be in the genes), but I shall try to be more patient and understanding with my young protege.  Work.  That's what kids are.  Work.

"Movin' On Up"

 In my never ending quest to continue to show the world who is really in control, I took JD, Mama, and Dada and went on a two-day trek trek of the town as a demonstration of dominance.  The first day, I had Mama push me in the stroller while Dada carried bro.  The second day, I had Dada carry me on my throne upon his back, while Mama wore the trainee.  I think we covered a lot of ground....made some tracks....etc. etc. with clever wordplay.  Yep, I definitely think we left a lasting impression on all the other babies we passed - "You too can ride high in the saddle! (Or on your parent's back)" - and their parents - "Give us an inch and we'll make you go a mile!"  Good weekend.

So. Tired. Must. Sleep.

 First the 'rents took us to a playground.  Cool right?  Nice warmer weather, run around, finally free.  Nice.  But then they decided to turn this little 2 miles round-trip jaunt into an 8 mile round-trip excursion.  Oh well, at least I got to play with the big Thomas train table at the bookstore for two whole hours during our stop for lunch/feeding JD/diaper breaks (for the little guy of course....)/rest disguised as wanting being cool parents by letting me play with trains for two hours.  So now, I shall sleep, during which I shall probably dream of a very, very long road that just.never.ends.

Diaper Directive

I watched Mommy changing bro's diapers today, and I gotta' say, I'm not at all pleased.  First of all, you don't just stand there, you kneel upon a chair.  I mean, some diapers can take a long time, depending what you find in there, so it's best to have a place to rest to keep up your stamina.  Also, you may need a place to land safely should you faint from the aroma within.  Secondly, get your baby wipes/rash ointment out and accessible, and spread the diaper out BEFORE you take off the other diaper. Nobody likes to be left freezing and exposed on a changing table while you take your sweet time!  Finally, keep your distance as much as possible while doing the change, particularly when dealing with a boy, like Piglet here.  Just sayin....

It's All About Versatility...

 Been working with JD on his facial expressions.  All of his are cute and happy and "precious", so I'm showing him some of mine from when I was his age to help him expand his horizons (pssssst!  Hey, don't tell him....but I'm actually just trying to make him less appealing because this "super cute never in a bad mood adorable baby" bit is starting to get on my nerves.)  Yes, it's very important to be versatile....

Let's Make a Deal

Ya know what's not fair?  The new guy gets carried around EVERYWHERE in MY carrier.  That's right, don't think I don't remember the good ol' days of getting to lay in my recliner everywhere I went. I also remember going to the store to buy that particular seat after I was born, so don't tell me it's his now.  It's mine.  MINE MINE MINE.
However, for a small fee I will allow him to rent it.  Let's see....$5.00 a day at seven days a week at 4 weeks a month is 140 bucks a month.  And though it's hardly worth mentioning, a very reasonable interest rate of 20% compounded monthly.  I wonder how "fine" I can make that fine print.  Let's run a test....can you still read this?  Not without your glasses?  Perfect!  JD's eyes aren't even fully developed yet so it will still be a blur to him too!  *Ahem* I mean....I'll be sure to read it to him since he might not be able to see it properly.....

"Love is a Many Splendored Thing"

 Don't say it, I know.  I put on an amazing spread.  Just a little something I cooked up for the 'rents since they were too busy to plan anything for themselves.  (Although Mama pitched in on the canvas card we made for Dada).  They were so touched.  Wish I could have captured that look of pure joy and gratitude on their faces....priceless.  But it was nothing really, just a little tomato basil bisque, followed by some roasted broccoli and homemade shrimp alfredo, finished with some sparkling juice and a heart-shaped cookie cake.  Oh yeah and candles and hearts I cut out as decoration and flowers.  And of course after I explained Valentine's Day to lil' bro he wanted to get something for Mommy too, so we bought her Ghirardelli chocolates and a chocolate Dove heart.  (Ghirardelli was from me obviously....JD's just a beginner at these things, so his tastes aren't as refined as mine yet.)  She flipped.  Melted into a big puddle of Mommy.  I just love Valentine's Day.  Oh love......

Train Day!

 I know you have all been dying to hear about Train Day, the most wonderful day of the year.  Train rides, model trains and villages, toy trains, mini-trains, trains for sale, indoor trains you can play conductor in.  It's insane.  And awesome.  Nay, epically insanely awesome.  I never realized how big trains were, as this was my first time to see real ones up close.  They're MASSIVE!  We got to ride on a huge one outside, and then there was another train that could really run on the track that was miniature and made for kids, but they don't run it anymore.  I'm guessing the no seatbelts thing was a safety issue for the immature crowd.  Now, if they would just weed out the irresponsible ones from the get-go that wouldn't be a problem!
There was an interesting mix of people at train day - kids, and old guys.  I think there is something about trains that is just classically manly.  A man can like trains his whole life, and it's always an acceptable hobby, one of the few hobbies you can do from age 0-100!  Of course, none of the other train day goers were quite as fanatic as I.  I don't think it's possible....

Monkeyshines

                                             A Bittersweet Ode to "Barrel of Monkeys"
   
                                             Oh barrel of monkeys, you're one of a kind.
                                           Once lonely on your shelf, now you're all mine!
                                           I'll twist you and throw you and dump you all out,
                                            And all this I'll do with a loud, forceful shout.
                                              Why should I loop you from tail to arm?
                                                To do things correctly is void of all charm.
                                            Instead I shall make up my own rules of play,
                                            The days of such freedoms will soon pass away.

                                             *Pathetic drooping of head in exhaustion*

Playdough Potentate

Da, Da-da-da-dat-dat-daaaaaaaaa!  This is the infamous peach-mango scented gluten-free playdough.  Not only is it deliciously invigorating to play with, but it won't hurt my rather sensitive stomach should I chose to sample it.  I feel like that lady in one of Mommy's favorite shows, Road to Avonlea - "Oh no darling, I can't abide tea, I have a very delicate stomach.  Roasted chicken?  No, no, no my digestive system really couldn't handle that.  I could however partake of some of those marvelous looking imported chocolates....."  although in my case aforementioned imported chocolates would have to be REAL chocolate (which contains no dairy; and let's be honest, milk ruins the flavor of chocolate anyway!)  But back to playdoughing....it is quite simple to make and the scent and texture are both still perfect.  Perhaps I'll get Mommy to take me to show local shows where I can sell it....that ridiculous etrade baby has been mocking my portfolio, which has indeed been looking rather shabby as of late, since I've been too busy training JD to monitor my investments properly.  *sigh*  The stresses of a mini-mogul....

Lost in Translation

Mama has lost her voice.  I asked her if she'd looked in the car; it's possible it got locked in there one of those times she was rockin' out to Skillet.  She rolled her eyes at me.  Apparently she lost her sense of humor too.
Anyway, it was great fun to translate her sign language today.  "What's that Mom?  You want me to keep screaming at the top of my lungs while throwing blocks all over the room?  Well if you insist.....why are you grabbing my arm like that?  OHHHHH, I should use more of that muscle right there when I throw?  Thanks mom!"
Yes...it was a good day.

Let The Training Begin

On MLS's advice, I've been doing some reading on the elderly species known as "parents".  Apparently, they take about 2 years to break in, so these first couple years are the toughest.  But according to my readings, "The parental psyche is geared to dominate and control their offspring.  It may take years of hard work and compassionate training to mold them into the easily controllable push-overs they should be."  This doesn't sound very kind to me....after all Mama worked very hard to bring me into this world, and Dada is so kind and "JD!  STOP THAT TALK AT ONCE!  REMEMBER THE MISSION!"  Sorry MLS. :(  I'll get more wise and devious like you, I promise!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

   Happy Birthday to me!!!  It's the big 0-2.  I can't believe I've been bringing laughter, amazement, and wonder to the world for two whole years.  Time flies when you're being brilliant.  I had a BIG train party.  Everyone was there.  Relatives, friends, and multiple paparazzi that had to be beaten back with balloons.  Dada decorated the awesome train cake pictured above.  Pretty sweet right?  ;)
    Anywayz, I also received an assortment of train-related items, as well as some artistic and academic items to further enhance my genius.  Can't wait to celebrate the big 0-1 with JD in 10 more months.  Suppose I should start booking the party planner now; they're all so busy at that time of year.
    Thanks to everyone who came or sent gifts (especially thanks to that category :)  Now off to celebrate again with Mama and Dada since today is my official birthday.  I could get used to this double-birthday party thing....