Merry Christmas!!!

      Merry Christmas!!!!  Sorry I've been MIA; I was VERY busy unwrapping countless presents and eating Christmas pasta.  I'm still curretly very busy, but I wanted to take a few moments to upload some pics of my very first Christmas! 

You Better Watch Out!

This is my happy face....why?  Because I'm about to go see Nanna and Poppy!!!  I think I shall sneak-attack them in the wee hours of the morning.  I can't wait!  Now to pack -  Dirty diaper....check.  Cranky disposition...check.  Sore and irritable from having to sleep in my carseat....check.  Christmas present for them to make it all better....check.  Pitiful woe-is-me face to invoke sympathy and heartache over my dirty, cranky, irritable, sore plight?  Check.  You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm tellin' you why - MLS is coming to town!! 

 

Daddy Daddy Daddy!

  Today is Daddy's last exam of the block!  HOORAY!!!!  When he gets home, he'll be HOME.  Like, he'll actually BE home.  Not a "Oh Hi buddy nice to see you for these two seconds, now I must study," but a "Buddy!  Come hang out with me 24/7 until next year!!" type of homecoming.  I have plans.  Big plans.  He's going to take me bowling and to play soccer and to shop for mommy's Christmas present and drag-racing!

"No drag-racing!" 
Mom!  Seriously?!  Fine....then we're not going shopping for your gift either! 
"Well...wear a helmet!"
That's what I thought.....

 It's going to be awesome!  And the lady from foster care is coming for our very last home visit!  I think after this I'll finally be eligible to take care of child.  I do such a great job with Mommy and Daddy, so how hard could a kid be?  I'm going to start out part time though....just respite care.  I think I should break Mommy in slowly, so she can adjust to having me share my smiles and wit with some one besides her.  You know how moms are....they get so emotional about every little milestone.  Now if you'll excuse me, I must go safety-check the exercise bike.

Good flavor, doesn't come off when you chew on it, check!

Just Say No to Dolls

   SHHHHHH!  You can't see me!  I'm hiding from Mommy.  She tried to make me play with a Ken doll.  A DOLL!!!  Oh the humanity!  Oh the injustice and just plain wrong-ness of it all!  I do NOT play with dolls.  No, it does NOT make a difference that it was a guy doll, and no it is NOT just like GI Joe.  GI Joe is a man....Ken is a pansy, girly-shorts wearing, too-perfect teeth and hair, grinning wuss!  Thank goodness Christmas is coming when I will hopefully receive more manly toys, so Mommy will never offer me a doll to play with again!   I grit my teeth and shudder at the mere word....doll.   Ugh! Yeck!  Bleh!

For the Families

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2DLP7JRG1c

   I don't have much to say today, as I'm still reeling from Friday's tragedy, but this is a song my mommy made for the families effected by the shooting in Connecticut.  She really wants those families to hear it, so I told her I'd help out by posting it on my page.  After all, things always get paid attention to when backed by a celebrity (such as myself).

10 Days Left!

OHHHHH SNAP.  Apple is amazing.  Have you ever had an apple?  The first time I tried one, I thought it was gross.  Didn't like applesauce either.  But I suppose I'm growing up, because Mommy always says that as you grow older your tastes change.  So this must be a sign of maturity.  No surprise there though....just nice to have concrete proof of what I've always thought about myself....
   By the way, there are only 10 days left until Christmas!  MY VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!!  I'm so excited.  I don't really know what all this Christmas stuff is all about though....Mommy said it is to celebrate the birthday of God's son Jesus, but all I see when we go out is lights, red and green, a big fat guy in a red suit, and signs advertising for Christmas gifts.  So if it's actually to celebrate Jesus' birthday, how come I don't see signs like "Get Your Birthday Cakes Here", or, "We Have the Perfect Gift for Jesus"? 
    Now "gift" is a word I do understand!  Mommy said that Jesus was God's gift to us.  I'm still working all this out in my mind, but I hope to understand it one day. 

Box it Up

  I've been watching Mommy buy Christmas gifts for me.  Well actually she let me pick a couple out, but she and Daddy picked the rest.  She thinks I wasn't paying attention but I was.  They are supposed to be "surprises"....don't worry mom, I'll act surprised.
   You know what the best part is?  Mommy really knows me.  I mean she nailed exactly what I wanted.  Do you know what she has gotten me?!  BOXES!  At least three boxes!!!  And BAGS!  Two of them!  Some are square and some are rectangular and they're all perfect for bending and ripping and putting stuff in!  Strangely though, right now they all have stuff attached to them inside, as if somebody already put something in them and Mommy forgot to take the stuff out before she bought them....poor Mommy.  Sometimes I worry about her....

Magic Box

I found this box yesterday on the coffee table.  It has those horrible things Mommy wipes my nose with in it, but the awesome thing is, they never run out!  You can just keep pulling and pulling and pulling and there's still more in there!  It's a magic box!  It's like Mary Poppins carpet bag!  If Mary Poppins had carried a box, this would have been it.  I showed it to Mommy, but she wasn't impressed.  In fact she seemed irritated.  I can't imagine why....  I just wish it had something a little more interesting in it, like neverending car keys or pacis or spoons or blocks.  Do you know what I could do with an endless supply of blocks?!  One can only dream.....

Two Engineers

  Observe!  The photographic proof of the block structure I built, with design help from my friend.  Both his parents are engineers, so he knows about that sort of thing.  We decided to go with the box base, as it tends to be sturdier than a base of other blocks.  Having a strong foundation is VERY important in building, or in life.  But I digress.....
    After building insanely awesome block structures, we moved on to electrical engineering.  He theorized that we could take apart my remote and alter some of the chips inside to make it actually control any television, anywhere.  Since he has only had about 7 months experience with that sort of thing, I opted not to dive into that just yet.  I mean we can't risk a little electric shock ruining two such amazingly elite minds as ours!

One is the Loneliest Number

Chubby!  You knock em down, you clean em up!

 It is so hard to find a good playmate these days....I would go hang out at my friend's house down the street, but Mommy says my car is in the shop.  It's funny, it's been "in the shop" for 10 months now....
 So I asked my friend Chubby over to play instead.  It was only a 5 foot walk for him (and between you and me, he could use the exercise!), so I figured, it never hurts to ask right?  WRONG!  First, he knocked over my miniature of the Eiffel Tower.  Then while playing duck-duck-bear, he trips and falls on top of me (and as previously referred to, you do NOT want this guy falling on you!).  And THEN he ate all my Veggie Mum-Mum!  (Ok so maybe I accidentally ground it into the carpet, and had to smear some on Chubby's face to make it look like he ate it....)  And talk about motormouth, he NEVER shuts up!  I had to hear all about Great-Aunt Theodora and Great-Uncle Teddy who helped the Indians learn to fish, not to mention Chubby's most recent stuffing surgery that required 38 stitches.  *sigh*  I'm so over these in-room playdates.  Mommy!  Hurry up and get us well so I can be with my own kind!

Gift-Rapping

 *Cue Beatbox
It's Christmas time and I'm so psyched
Hot chocolate and stringing lights
Waiting for the snow to fall
Christmas gifts for one and all
Got to get these presents wrapped
No ribbon left? Well I'll adapt
Running out of paper mom!
Go to the store and buy me some!
Put the gifts beneath the tree
I'm in a hurry can't you see?!
So much to do by the twenty-fifth
I just hope Santa got my list....
*Beatbox fades

Achoo! Achoo!

   Woe is me....my throat hurts, my nose is running, and I can't stop sneezing.  I don't want to eat anything, I don't really care to drink either.  All I want to do is sleep, and hold Mommy.  And sleep some more.  And maybe whine a little here and there.  I don't even want to show you a picture of myself....I'm dirty from helping mommy clean earlier, and my eyes are all red and puffy looking. :(  But fear not!  I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be good as new!

Happy 3 Years Mom and Dad!

  Happy Anniversary to my two favorite parents, and I'm not just saying that because you're my only parents!  And guess what!  Mommy and Daddy's anniversary is even more special now, as we found out it is now the birthday of two brand new babies - a new baby cousin and a friend of Mommy's had a baby today!  Yay!!!!  Rock on!!!  We're popping up (or rather out) everywhere!!!  We're taking over the WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!
   Apparently Mommy and Daddy had a nice date at their favorite restaurant, though how it could possibly have been nice without me I can't imagine.  But that's fine.  I'm not bitter.  I was kickin' it at a buddy's house.  We did some crazy awesome stuff.  We even had a supper boycott together.  And I had some mad block organizing skills.  No really, I have photographic proof, but not on me.  I had Mommy's friend document my evening, so Mommy wouldn't feel too depressed about missing out on a good 5 hours of my life.  But like I said earlier....I'm not bitter....not as long as they brought some leftovers.....

All Hail the Little Prince!

 I'm still pretty stoked about this standing by myself business.  It is the epitome of freedom.  I take that back....moving out of the house, buying a motorcycle, and touring the country would be the epitome of freedom.  I suppose I'll wait a few more years for that though.  There's these pesky age rules and tests involved in getting a bike license.  Lame. 
   Anyway, tomorrow is Mommy and Daddy's 3 year wedding anniversary!  Yay!  That is a VERY big deal.  You know why?  Cause without a wedding, you can't have a baby!  *"Remember that people....no wedding....no babies!"  Mom, I just said that, why are you repeating me?  "I'll explain when you're older...."*  And without me, the greatest baby ever, where would they be today?  Miserable that's what!  Life would be so dull and devoid of fun without me!  So tomorrow represents more than just a wedding anniversary; it represents the beginning of a new family, in which I, MLS, am King!  *"Ahem!"*  Ok fine Mommy, but I'm at least a Prince!

Smile! It's Contagious

   Went to town this morning to pick up a certain Christmas gift for a certain some one(s) who shall remain unnamed, and while at the store I do believe every single person in that store smiled at me.  Now I don't mean that casual "Oh look it's a cute baby" smile that everyone does anyway.  I mean the "I'm smiling directly at you with genuine happiness" smile.  Why?  Because I was smiling at all of them!  Just by smiling at them I smoothed many a furrowed brow, and ended many frustrated attitudes.  Because smiling is contagious.  Especially when it's genuine.  You have to do more than just politely smile at people as you walk by; you have to be genuinely happy yourself.  When you are genuinely happy, it will show in your demeanor, and others will react.  A polite, two-second smile doesn't brighten people's day, but a heartfelt, natural smile usually does.  Try it!  Even if the attitudes of those around you don't change, yours will!  Can't think of anything to smile about at the moment?  Just come back to the blog every few minutes and look at pictures of me!  I'll keep you smiling all day! :)

Potty Break

  Many babies do great things - things that make their parents proud, things that are advanced, things that make their parents' lives easier.  Of all these things, the best gift a baby can give his or her parents is the gift of using the big potty.  And I, MLS, age 9 months 3 and one half weeks, did on this day, November 30, 2012, go poo-poo in the potty. 

   No, no....no need for praises.  It was really no big deal.  I just did what any 3 year old can do.  Except that I'm only almost 10 months, but really it's no big deal.  (*Mommy, really I don't need a solid gold crib as a reward.  Cash is fine...yes I suppose I can accept a check.*)  I don't think I shall do it again any time soon however.  I believe there are certain trials, certain tests of character, that parents should be required to go through.  And if I start using the potty regularly this soon, mommy and daddy will miss out on a lot of character building opportunities.  Being the loving, considerate son I am, I shall continue to play the part of the needy baby until I feel that they have reached their full parental potential. :)

America's Next Top Model: Baby Edition

  Mommy told me never to tell anyone this, but she watches America's Next Top Model when it comes on Hulu.  Shhhhhh! Don't tell her I told you!  So anyway, I happened to notice a commercial following the very last episode of this season that said they are currently casting male models for next season!  I'm a shoo-in!  I mean look at this face!  Look at these poses!  I could teach Tyra a thing or two!  Now, which shots should I submit?  These?  I've got the side-profile and a head-shot, and then they say you are supposed to have a swimsuit shot, but I'm sure diaper will work fine.

Oh no....I just read that there is an age requirement.  :(  Whatever Tyra.  I'll do my own show - America's FIRST Top Model Baby.  I'll be the star of course, bound to win the whole thing since I'll select mommy as a judge, but I'll have to have some other babies compete just to make it look fair....

Must...Have...Sleep

                     I don't know why I've been so tired lately....I guess it's all these sleepless nights I've been having.  Mommy doesn't seem to feel any sympathy for me, but merely whines about how tired she is.  Does she not know it's not my fault that I can hear Daisy scratching in her cage downstairs?  And it's her fault that I usually hear her bedroom door open and close when she goes up to shower, then the shower going on and off, and then I hear the door again whenever Daddy goes to bed after studying.  And sometimes I hear the washing machine beep to say it is done; other time I hear the ravens in our back yard slamming against the back door window (which I fine extremely creepy and disturbing).  I mean could you sleep with all that racket?!  I think not.  So please my friends, find it in your heart to grant me the sympathy I do not receive here, and should I fall asleep at your house or social function, forgive me.  It doesn't mean that I'm bored (well maybe it does....sometimes....depending on the event.....), just that you have a peaceful, quiet domicile that is soothing to a weary soul such as mine.   

Stand Up!

I know, I know.  You are incredibly impressed with what you see right?  No, your eyes are not deceiving you, I really am standing all by myself (with a LITTLE help from the table...hardly worth mentioning...).  It's very addictive....once you stand up for the first time, you just can't stop.  How can I bear to waste time crawling around on the floor, when I can stand up and see so much more!  Mommy and Daddy are a lot taller than they seemed before....even Daddy.  Mommy seems to be very tired lately though; some nonsense about how her arms are tired from having to catch me so many times a day and keep me from cracking my skull open, or something like that.  PAH!  I need no safety net!  I'm a man!  All I need are these two feet, and maybe a table here and there....

Destruction!!! Ba-ha-ha-ha!

Hide your movies and books!  Cover your open cabinets!  It's the MLS monster!!!!  Muah-ha-ha-ha!  Nothing is safe from this diabolical master of destruction!  He leaves no drawer unopened or rug unturned!  Toys cringe in fear and exhaustion!  Mass chaos trails behind him! He is an organized mommy's worst nightmare!  Color-coded shelves and closets beware!  BEWARE!!

 (**MLS takes no responsibility for inspiring any acts of demolition by any fellow vertically challenged youths who may read this.  MLS will not compensate you for loss of property.**)

Thanksgiving Aftermath

   Oh dear....I think I ate too much....

I tried squash, potato, and peas, all not pureed, and well.....it didn't go so good.  I may or may not have regurgitated them all back up into my bib.  I wanted to take a picture for you all to see, but mommy wouldn't let me.  But overall I think my first Thanksgiving was a success.  I didn't quite make it through the main meal before I was down for the count, but who among us hasn't fallen asleep during dinner?  I've been told that today is something called "Black Friday", where we all go shopping for hours and stand in really long lines.  This doesn't sound pleasurable to me, so perhaps I shall sleep some more throughout this excursion.  Daddy said he'll sleep too.

Thanksgiving? You Shouldn't Have! :)

  Mommy says we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Then she said something about Pilgrims and Indians, but the only part I remember is, "It's a day to reflect on everything we're thankful for and thank God once again for it," by which I have deduced that Thanksgiving must be a day to give thanks for me!!  PLUS, we're going to visit family, and everytime we visit family it's usually so they can gush about how wonderful I am and how much I've grown, etc, etc.  They must have finally just decided to just make it a National Holiday.  I'm really touched....I mean I knew people loved me, but a whole day just to remember how thankful everyone is for me?  I'm gonna' cry.  Happy tears though, don't worry.  I will let you go, because I know you all have big plans to prepare for this very important day of thanks, but before you go, I shall demonstrate the proper way to do a drumroll to announce my entrance tomorrow......

Little Einstein

  I really don't know why Mommy is constantly amazed by my capabilities.  You would think by now she would be accustomed to my intellectual ingenuity, but alas, she still insists on jumping up and down like a giddy school-girl whenever I do anything remotely intelligent.  Today I promptly pointed to the flaps that held the corresponding rhymes, and she was shocked!  Shocked I tell you!  Well I was appalled!  How dare you be shocked!  I'm smart enough to know that "cat" rhymes with "mat". DUH!
      I matched the rhymes without missing any four times in a row, and by the fourth time she was getting hysterically excited, so I shoved the book away when she wanted to continue.  I'm done.  I can't concentrate around lunacy. 

9 Month Pictures!

 It's that time again!  I recently had my 9 month photo
shoot, and here are some of my faves.  Calvin Klein,
I'll be waiting for your call! ;)

Happy Birthday Nanna!!

Napping with Nanna during my October Tour

  Today is the birthday of my wonderful beautiful Nanna!  Now Nanna, I know it was probably tough to have a good birthday without me (a perfect gift for any occasion!), but I hope that you did!!   As I reflect on Nanna's birthday, I am reminded that I too will one day be a member of the grown-up sect.  With my 1st birthday rapidly approaching in just a few short months, I feel the need to get away with everything I possibly can before Mommy and Daddy start expecting me to be "responsible" for my actions.  Now you and I know that I am extremely reliable, responsible, and respectable, not to mention charismatic, charming, and cute (how's that for alliteration!), but Mommy and Daddy still see me as their little baby, so let's keep this under wraps at least until my birthday!  I hear toddler-hood's a real drag.

Holding Out Hope

   I haven't heard from Mr. Jingle's captor (or captors, who knows) yet.  Oh Mr. Jingles I hope you are safe and being treated well.  Which reminds me, whoever has Mr. Jingles, if you insist on keeping him, there are some things I would like you to know for his comfort and safety.  He prefers to be shaken side-to-side, not up and down. He does NOT need any food or water, hence the stain on his mouth, but he does need to be shaken at least six times daily to keep physically fit and limber.  It also helps prevent his internal bell from freezing up or sticking.  I'm sure this is way too much for you to remember though, so please mail him home to me as quickly as possible.  I am about to release the big guns.  You have been forewarned.  And Mr. Jingles, I'll always be here waiting for you, with a smile.

May the smile on my face hide the anguish I feel inside.  I will be strong for you Mr. Jingles!

Child Labor Laws Anyone?

   I'm curious....how do they know something is "safe for ages 6mos +" or "for ages 18-24mos"?  Do they have test babies that have to play with these things until some one gets hurt?  Or what about the "brain toys"?  Do they get a bunch of 6 month olds to play with a toy for months to see if they grow up to be stupid or smart?  I can hear it now, "Oops, well guys it looks like Bingo the Bear causes stunted motor skill development in this group; let's try the 9 month olds."  I mean think about it! In order to determine something is age-appropriate or safe, they have to test it on babies right?  And the way they determine something is not safe for a certain age must be when some one gets hurt.  "Oooooh, looks like that robot arm can fit in a 8 month old's nose.  Back to the drawing board." 
      I'm very concerned about this!  Mommy said she's sure they have safe ways of determining these things, like in the movies when a dog gets run over by a semi, but "No animals were harmed in the filming."  Ummm....yeah.....ok.......not comforting Mommy.

Mr. Jingles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  He's gone!  Mr. Jingles is GONE!!!!  I've looked everywhere for him!  I can't believe I didn't realize this sooner, but I don't recall seeing him since my Southern Tour a few weeks ago!  Mr. Jingles NOOOOOOO!  Come home!  Please come home!  I'll never over-shake you again!  I'll treat with with kindness and respect!  You'll never want for anything, really, you can have all the cotton your little heart desires, and thread for dessert, if you'll only come home!  I really can't go on without you.  Babyhood has lost it's charm without you!  Were you elephant-napped?  Oh Mr. Jingles I'm sure you were; you never would have left voluntarily.  Don't worry, I WILL FIND YOU!  To whoever has Mr. Jingles, you are going to pay!  I'm going to track you down and give you a piece of my mind!  Actually, of my lunch - after I've chewed and swallowed it!  ALL OVER YOUR FACE!  However, if you return Mr. Jingles unharmed, I may be convinced to give you a lighter sentence, such as maybe a face full of breakfast instead of lunch (lunch involves foods of many colors, while breakfast is just oatmeal and therefore less disgusting when I regurgitate it all over you).

The Warning Face - This is what I will look like shortly before I hurl my lunch in your face, you cowardly, cruel, twisted elephant-napper!  Whoever you are.

9 Month Photo Shoot

Trying some different looks to practice for my photo shoot...and coaching daddy in the proper wearing of the fedora

      It's that time again - time to update my portfolio with more recent pictures of my handsome self.  I really just wasn't feeling it this time though....I've gained a lot of weight and just wasn't comfortable in those shirt off shots anymore.  Mommy says babies are supposed to have big bellies, it means they're healthy, but I disagree.  I think the "percentile" standards doctors use are WAAAAAY off and are contributing to obesity in America.  Parents hear "Oh no my child is only in the 15th percentile for his weight!" and start stuffing him with more food than he actually wants or needs, which will lead to poor eating habits later in life.  Yet when a doctor says, "My what a big guy, he's in the 80th percentile for his weight!", with a SMILE nonetheless, parents are thrilled.  Well I for one am not liking this "healthier" body of mine. 

         How to fix it....more crawling, less vegetables.  I mean let's think about this logically....I looked great when I was on my all-liquid diet, so I can only assume that fruits and veggies are not as good for you as people claim.  Don't get me wrong, they are great for adults.  Let's look at the facts - I eat fruits and veggies, my tummy grows HUGE.  Mommy eats fruits and veggies, her tummy grows smaller.  Therefore something must happen between babyhood and adulthood that results in your body changing the chemical make-up of said fruits and veggies to make them less fattening.  If only I could have mommy's age and metabolism....**"Are you kidding me?!  Take that back! Take it back right now young man, you don't know what you're saying!"  Sorry mom, but you can't hide the truth any longer!**