On to Victory!

 I hope you liked my video.  I realize mommy played a large role in it, but I think it's still evident that I am the star.  I only hope this can help Romney win!  Maybe I'll be a politician myself.  "MLS for President!  MLS for America's bright future!"  Nah.  Too much time away from mommy...and politicians have to shake germy hands and kiss babies.  And believe me I do NOT want to go kissing any babies because I know the kinds of things they put in their mouths and all over their faces.   Not me of course, but some less mature individuals... And Mr. Romney, if you should win and decide to come visit me to make me a member of your cabinet to show your appreciation to me for my support, please don't kiss me.  A manly handshake will do.  As we look to Nov. 6, I raise my glass (of water) to you.  Here's to victory!

My hand is blurry because when I accidentally threw my glass when I raised it....

Do the Bright Thing

 Well folks here it is, my very first political video. Because it is my first foray into politics, I have allowed mommy to work the camera and handle the questions.  My answers are purely my own opinion, and no babies were coerced, egged on, or given rewards for right answers (bummer) during the filming of this video.

Political Baby

Faux-Hawkin' It

So what do you think?  James Bond meets David Beckham?  You're right...I'm way more striking than either of those guys.  James who?  This look says, "I have arrived....let the party begin."  The party I wore this to happened to be church nursery.  Are you laughing?  Seriously?  Do you have any idea how wild we can get in there?  I mean one guy was knocking down buildings, another trampled on my hand, and yet another was demolishing Tonkas and Hot Wheels like he was King Kong or something!  Oh yes, nursery can get crazy.  And of course they were all asking me about my latest look, and I let them in on my secret, so I suppose I'll tell you too....the right mousse is critical, but it's really all in the attitude.  Do you think I could pull this thing off if I weren't the cool, confident, independent guy I am?  Please..... 

Hot Stuff

    It’s official…mommy is never ever ever allowed to go shopping for my clothes without my permission ever again! We went to purchase some winter items yesterday, and I just wasn’t feeling up to shopping. So I didn’t really pay attention to the things she was putting in the buggy….behold Exhibit A:

Ok first of all, red is not my color. Second of all, even though I am “Hot Stuff”, and one might even call me the pepper that adds spice to mommy and daddy’s lives, I would never be so crass as to display this truth on my chest (by choice). * “But you look so adorable in it!” Yes Mommy but that’s only because I look adorable in anything!* This is almost as bad as taking my pictures while I’m in nothing but a diaper. Just because I have an adorable bum doesn’t mean the world needs to see it! Oh mommy….

Attention Hog

 I think that parents sometimes get tired of their kids getting all the attention.  And I don't blame them....I mean how would I feel if I was a grown man, and when I walked into a room people completely ignored me, opting instead to say hi to my adorable child?  I would probably think, "Geez I have an interesting job and a high IQ, not to mention being excruiciatingly stylish and handsome, and these people would rather talk to my infant son?"  (Of course that's assuming my "infant son" will not be nearly so amazing as I am right now....it is completely understandable for people to favor me over Mommy or Daddy, but I'm talking about regular babies...)  I'm going to start an experiment of "blending".  I think that if Mommy or Daddy always let me ride in the harness when we go out, facing backwards unfortunately, people initialy will not be able to see my charming face, forcing them to look at and greet Mommy and/or Daddy instead.  And maybe after days (or weeks or months...maybe even years) of this, people will realize that my parents are pretty cool (for grown-ups) and want to talk to them on a regular basis.  True, they'll never have my dazzling wit or heart-melting dimple (that's right....one dimple is all I need!), but they are unique individuals nonetheless.  Oh dear especially in this picture down here...I'm so sorry I don't know what Mommy was doing...she's really not that weird all the time.... 

Perfect Gentleman

Ok so this isn't a very good example of my
gentlemanliness...I must have dozed off from
the sheer exhaustion of being so vigilant
regarding mommy's safety and well-being.

    You'd think that some one who had been in the world for 24 years would have a lot more experience being a gentleman than some one who's only had 8 months to practice.  But alas, that is not always the case.  Take today for example.  Daddy surprised us by coming home early.  Mommy was of course thrilled when he agreed to let me take them on a walk.  So here we are, walking down the road, and we come to a crosswalk.  Now don't think that I jumped the gun....I waited for daddy to take mommy's arm and escort her across the street.  But he never did!  I had to jump in and reach for her arm before she tripped over the curb (because as any good gentleman knows, a woman is liable to trip over a great big curb if a man doesn't take her arm and help her take that step down).  And let me just say, I looked good.  My Neal Caffrey/Panama Jack hat on my head and a pretty girl on my arm....this is why God created beautiful sunny days.  I scolded daddy furiously afterwards; he was thoroughly chagrined.  Let this be a lesson to all you other daddies out there, who should seek the title of "gentleman".

Thieving Varmit

   So this is how she repays me.  I give her love, attention, affection....I even yank out all her superfluous hairs to help her out.  And she steals my food.  She takes food from the "mouths of babes".  Well at least from the hand of this babe.  Here I was, innocently eating my rice rusk.  And I lift the last, tiny bite into the air in triumph, to show Mommy how quickly I devoured the rest, and as I raise the crumb aloft, Daisy pounces off the couch and snatches it from my grasp.  Oh the shame...I can't even defend a crumb from a dog.  How will I ever defend Mommy or my future siblings?  How can I ever have confidence in myself again?  How can Daddy trust me to take care of things when he is away on rotations one day?  Just wait Daisy...just you wait.  This day, you have stolen not just my rice rusk, but my pride and confidence.  One day, I will steal all your hairs, even the ones you need, until you are left hairless and ashamed before all your little doggie companions.  I shall avenge myself!

Sick Revenge

     I've been dealing with a cold for four days now thanks to Mommy and Daddy.  They claim it's not their fault, but here's my theory....I am not allowed to drive.  I am not allowed to take a jog down to the coffee shop by myself.  I am not allowed to take myself to MOPS group to see my peeps.  Therefore I can not take myself anywhere that I could have possibly picked up germs, so it can not possibly be my fault that I was sick, which means it must be Mommy or Daddy's fault for taking me somewhere that had sick germs right?  But wait it gets better. 
      Not only did they allow me to get sick, they were also going to go on a date tonight WITHOUT ME!  Can you believe that?!  I'm the life of the party!  I'm the reason dates are so awesome!  On top of that, they were going to a MOPS fundraiser.  Mommy wouldn't even get to be in MOPS without me!  I am her ticket in!  But no..."Oh MLS you're going to stay at your buddy's house and have so much fun you won't even realize we're gone."  Ha!  You'll just be enjoying an awesome Mexican meal without me, but no I won't sit and brood about it and dwell on it and have it gnaw away at me til I can't stand it.....For revenge, I wiped my snotty face all over Mommy's cheek, and then I coughed in her face.  Now I am almost over my illness, but Mommy's seems to have "mysteriously" developed a sore throat and lost her voice....needless to say she will not be going out tonight. :)
   Ok so maybe I feel a little bad that I made Mommy sick....ok I feel terrible.  I'm a sensitive guy at heart, a heart that is breaking to see Mommy like this.  But don't worry.  All she needs is a sweet, adorable, loving baby to take care of her and force her to stay active and she'll be better in no time!  Sounds like I'm just the man for the job!  *Mommy!  Come back here and finish this orange juice right NOW young lady!*

Pumpkin Palooza

  As I was enjoying the flavors of fall this morning with Mommy, she with her homemade pumpkin spice latte and me with my plain ol' pumpkin, we got onto the subject of how prevalent pumpkin is this season.  Of course I wasn't able to actually see much pumpkin flavored stuff last season as it was rather dark where I was, but I remember mommy getting excited when fall came and she could buy pumpkin coffee creamer and pumpkin butter, etc.  But this season...good grief!  Pumpkin spice lasagna noodles anyone?  Or how about some delicious pumpkin spice salsa?  And....wait for it....pumpkin spice PRINGLES.  That's right.  Pringles.  And apparently they will release a white chocolate peppermint chip pringle next month.  *Mommy are you ok?  Mommy stop gagging it's disturbing me.* 
    Now of course you still see the old favorites such as pumpkin butter, cream cheese, coffee, creamer, and of course pumpkin pie pop-tarts.  But it is very clear that this year they must have had a ridiculously large pumpkin crop resulting in these stranger concoctions. Pumpkin cookies, coffees, butters, chips, salsa, pastas, waffles, cereals, sausages, drinks, milks, cheeses, and the list just goes on.  As for me, I shall stick with good old fashioned pumpkin.  Plain, simple, and you don't have to wait 9 months for it to come back out again.  Try some today slathered all over your face (and the counter-top and the floor and the dog); it allows you to fully experience all the nuances and flavors of the pumpkin.

Itty-Bitty Baby

    Remember when I went to the mall with mommy to meet her friend with the baby in her tummy?  He's out!  He escaped (or rather was kidnapped....depends on how much he liked his cozy waterbed....personally I felt kidnapped but whatever) two weeks ago.  And you know, he is TINY.  I don't remember being that tiny, though apparently I too weighed a mere almost 9 lbs back in the day.  Mommy misses those days of lightness; I could tell by the way she looked at the "other baby".  But I'm not jealous...I'm way too mature for that.  Pah.  Jealousy.  I don't even know the meaning of the word!  Just because he was indeed cute and cuddly and still had that new baby smell (moms love that) - no reason to be jealous.  Nope not me.....did I mention I'm not jealous?  Because I really was thrilled to meet him.  Mommy mentioned going back to visit him again, and I was like, "No mommy, there's no need.  I'll buy you one of those dangly tree car air fresheners in 'new baby' scent."  Yep....no jealousy here....

Second Impressions

    Mommy says a lady from foster care is coming to our house today.  This time it's the "boss-lady".  You know, I'm shocked they are coming again.  Mommy said they have to come three times in the initial process, but still.  Isn't one time of meeting me enough to see what an amazing surrogate brother I'd be?!  *Mommy stop laughing.  "Surrogate brother" is so an appropriate term!  Whatever mommy....*  Anyway....
    I mean look at me - I'm cute, I'm smart, I'm stylish, and not only lovable, but loving!  I'll be an awesome family coach.  That's the title I've given myself.  I mean, somebody has to teach this kid (whoever "this kid" is) how to live with Mommy's rules.  What to do, what not to do, when to do the things you aren't supposed to do and still get away with them, etc.  I can't wait!  I'm even having locks installed on the cabinets to keep Mommy and Daddy from swallowing anything harmful or dropping a dish onto their heads.  How much more responsible can you get?  Well, it's almost go-time.   Where's my tux....

Push-Ups

In my never-ending quest for physical fitness, I've been looking to branch out regarding my workout routine.  I've made a couple forays into crawling here lately, but the issue I keep running into is that my arms are so much stronger than my legs.  I end up in a push-up position on my toes (I've got some serious toes of STEEL!).  So I went to the fitness center to try one of those leg press machines.  This is all I have to say.... 

Ok first of all, who designed this thing?!  There's no way my legs can reach that bar, let alone my arms reach far enough to adjust the weight (to the heaviest setting of course).  And second, there wasn't even an attendant.  You know, the person who wipes off your sweat and brings you water and liquid vitamins to keep up your stamina?  No?  Hmmm...maybe I'm just so used to the royal treatment at home that I expect it everywhere.  Thanks mommy. :)

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

   To quote Bon Jovi, "Been all around the *south*, and as a matter of fact, there's only one place left I wanna go...who says you can't go home?"  So excited to finally be home and get back to my regular life.  Traveling around and meeting all my fans is always fun, but it is so good to be back in my crib.  Literally.  Ha-ha that was really quite funny.....
    To rehabilitate from my long, grueling trip, I think I'll need at least 6 hours to myself, mixed with 6 hours of having mommy wait on me hand and foot.  And boy do I deserve it.  Are you ready for this.....(cue banners, balloons, fireworks, streamers, cannons of confetti, and the mime....never mind, forget the mime)....
       I say, "Mama" and "Dada" now!  See, what ha' happened wuz...I was so happy to get to spend so much time with mommy and daddy this week, but it was very frustrating that they kept strapping me in that tortuous carseat and ignoring my cries for freedom, so I finally gave in and said those two precious words no parent can resist.  And it works like a charm!  They can't help but to do whatever I want as soon as they hear my sweet, plaintive cries of "Mama" or "Dada".  But don't worry, I won't abuse my power.  Well, at least no more than absolutely necessary...

Holding MY ducky in MY excersaucer in MY living room of MY house...life is good.

Pictures From My Trip so Far

The Boys are Back in Town

With Uncle Isaiah

Mommy's Birthday Party I threw for her!

That little speck is me....not everyone can say they've slept under a horse!

At Saucy Q's

"Borrowing" some of daddy's coffee....he'll never notice....

Me, Mommy, and Daddy with my Great-Great-Grandmother!

At the Bookstore Mommy worked at before we moved....I used to come here everyday....inside Mommy's tummy.

Beach Baby

 I know I've been absent for a while, but you should all know by now that when I go on tour, I barely have time to sleep, let alone blog.  My days are filled with so much activity, it's all I can do to crawl into my pack-n-play at night.  I've been everywhere!
     I visited mommy and daddy's highs school alma mater, their college alma mater, their favorite restaurant, their favorite coffee shop, momy's former place of employment before they moved, and the BEACH! 
     I also met my great-GREAT grandmother, visited my nanna and poppy, visited my great-grandparents, and tomorrow will meet my other set of great-grandparents and a great-aunt.  I know....Holy Blue Pigs.  I'm overwhelmed too. 
       And to top it all off, mommy's birthday was today, so I had to blow up a ton of balloons and make a birthday card.  I got her a gift card to my, I mean her, favorite coffee shop....and I know that picture of me at the beach makes it look like I'm the one who's scared, but it's that mommy was petrified, so I had to hold her tight so to help her calm down.  I mean she was a wreck...you'd think she'd never seen water come crashing towards her at like a zillion miles an hour, and then just when it looks like it's going to swallow you whole, it falls down with a thunderous crash directly in front of you, gripping your toes in it's icy grasp.  Yep, it's a good thing she had me there....

On the Road, Yet AGAIN

Well folks, I'm off touring the country again.  This time I'm on a tour of the South-eastern U.S.  My fan base is quite large now, and daddy had some time off from school, so I demanded he take me on the road.  I can't disappoint my followers!  At one point in our trip, I will be speaking at mommy and daddy's alma mater to a few select faculty members.  Haven't picked a topic yet, but I'm sure they'll just be happy to see me, let alone get to experience my eloquent manner of speaking and inspiring ideas.  After that I believe mommy has set up a gig at a local coffee shop for me, after which I shall relax at the beach.  I'm not sure what a beach is, but mommy said lots of people go there to relax, so I figure that's a perfect half-way point for us to stop on such a long, trying, monotonous trip.  And I definately need some R & R after working so hard the past 8 months.  Why I've done more the first 8 months of my life than some adults do in 10 years!  Do you know what my body and brain go through everyday?  Do you have any idea how much work goes into growing?  And not just the physical growth part, but intellectual growth too (which is clearly going well if I do say so myself).

" 'The Time Has Come', the Walrus Said...."

  To adapt a quote from Lewis Carroll (or Charles Dodgson for you bibliophiles), " 'The time has come', the Mommy said, 'To talk of many things.  Of never sleeping on the bed, because you're now scooting.' " (off that is....and yes daddy that did so rhyme.  It's called "slant" rhyming.)  I'm not allowed to sleep on Mommy and Daddy's bed anymore for my naps.  This is too soon....I can't just adapt at the drop of a hat.  Mommy has tried for two and a half hours now to get me to nap in my room.  She even switched the curtains with the ones in the office.  Not only did it NOT make my room any darker, it now looks hideous because they don't match at all.  I am appalled.  I can't sleep in a bright room, but I can't sleep in a decor nightmare either!  I may never nap again.  I don't care how much she feeds me and plays with me to tire me out.  Rock me?  Psh.  Take me for a drive?  PAH!  I laugh at your pitiful attempts to soothe me.  I'm not going to sleep.  NOT GOING DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?  Although, my belly does feel a little full, and I have worked awfully hard at being carried around all morning....that lullaby my elephant is playing sounds kind of nice....zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzzz.

Stress Relief

Went to school today to visit daddy.  He had a hard test this morning, so I went to cheer him up and remind him that there is life beyond school.  While waiting for him, I was hounded by at least 20 others students in need of a baby break.  I feel bad that everyone can't chillax now and then like me.  It's important to carve out time for yourself now and then.  But for those of you that can't, I highly suggest procuring a baby.  It doesn't have to be your baby, just anyone's baby, preferably a cute one (such as myself).  Babies are of course completely stress-free and are therefore the perfect stress relievers.  We will listen to your problems without judging you or giving unsolicited advice.  And if you need to cry, we'll cry with you.  We'll also make you laugh at our adorable antics.  What can I say.....we're born entertainers! Though it seems to me that somewhere along the way we must lose that quality.......

How to Get What You Want 101

 1. Let mommy use you as an excuse to play with the toys she had when she was little, even if it does mean having your picture taken surrounded by girly "Teabunnies".  You now have owage. ("Owage": credit stored up by doing nice things for your parental unit.)
 2. Give mommy kisses while creeping toward the remote.  She'll never suspect that's what you're really after, and by the time you get it, she'll be so sucked in to thinking you're the sweetest baby in the world, she won't even take it away from you!
 3. Babble sweetly when you want your parental unit to play with you.  If you scream, it just makes them mad and not want to play.  Babbling is so darn adorable they can't resist.
 4. If you want to be picked up and carried around all day, whimper quietly and cling onto mommy's neck, making sure to cling in such a way that accentuates the precious chubbiness of your tiny hands (moms love that sort of thing).  She just won't have the heart to put you down.
 5. When in doubt, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  If you want mommy to smile and talk to you, smile and talk to her.  If you want your diaper changed, give mommy a break and let her use the bathroom herself once in a while.  Ok maybe that one doesn't make as much sense, but you get the idea.