"Cuz I Struggle With Forward Motion"

There is a song mommy likes to play that is particularly fitting for my current predicament.  Thank you Reliant K.  Well listen up people (cough, mommy, cough).  I'm tired of getting a hard time from just because I won't crawl yet.  Any baby can crawl.  It takes talent to scoot backwards.  That's right....backwards.  None of this forward nonsense for me.  You can just as easily get where you want to go moving backwards as you can forwards.  But don't use that as an analogy for life because it's completely unfounded.  All that "two steps forward, one step back."  No, no.  You never really go backwards in life; you just make bad decisions that keep you stuck where you are.  Funny how grown-ups don't understand that concept.  Can't tell you how many times I've heard the ridiculous phrase in my short little life.  But perhaps I can not fault people for continuing to say these adorable catchy phrases without thinking about what they mean.  After all, I am quite the thinker, so it's only natural for me to criticize and analyze.